When the Moment is Right
by Sweet-Peony
Summary: It goes without saying that those who have died become both immortalized and idolized by the people who continue to love them. Tidus learns this when he recognizes his feelings for Lulu, only to find that her heart remains open only to the late Chappu.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy X belongs to Square Enix.

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Chapter One

Tidus reclined on a thick tree bough, watching his party as they rested in the Macalania Forest. The moon glowed overhead, a huge omniscient orb over a backdrop of incandescent stars, all on an icy sheet of black that reminded him of the sea that surrounded Zanarkand, dark as a void except for the mirror reflection of the city lights. A light wind stirred up dark green leaves and glittering pyreflies that drew everyone's eyes skyward. And as they looked up, Tidus caught the eye of the black mage, Lulu, who was resting on a flat rock just beneath him. For a moment her eyes glinted ruby red in the flickering light of the campfire. She casually looked away.

"We've wasted enough time here," Auron said in his low growl. "Don't worry about my leg. I can carry my own weight." Yuna shook her head, not harshly as if she were scolding, but almost pleadingly.

"Please, Sir Auron, you need to rest." Her mismatched eyes were full of their usual determination. "It would be best to wait until morning. We can make camp here tonight."

He did not reply, but merely grunted, shifting his weight against the log he leaned on and wincing in spite of himself.

"She's right," Tidus interjected. He dropped from the bough and landed with the energetic expertise of a trained athlete, brushing foliage from his clothing. "You just barely kept your leg on during that last battle. I bet if you hadn't parried the attack at the last minute you would have lost it."

"We're almost at the temple," Auron grumbled, "but if you want to waste more time here, I guess I'll have to comply, seeing as I'm incapable of fighting back." Rikku sniggered at this.

Kimahri, with whom silence was customary, wordlessly began to construct a shelter using tree branches as support, sensing the scent of rain in the atmosphere with his acute Ronso nose. Yuna and Rikku stood up and helped him. Wakka, after spending a moment staring pensively into the fire, also stood.

"What're you thinking about?" inquired Tidus, joining him in the construction. Wakka looked at him, caught off guard, and smiled lightly.

"I'm thinkin' about my brother Chappu," he stated matter-of-factly. "I'm glad I got to see him at the Farplane." He paused, examining Tidus. "Sometimes when I look at you, I wonder if maybe he's alive somewhere inside you. You look so much like him. I was a little disappointed when he appeared there."

"It's just a coincidence that he looks like Chappu," said Lulu, who stoked the fire with magic. Her gaze, in contrast to the smoldering heat, was icy.

"Yeah, maybe," said Wakka quietly. And then, in an undertone, "You never know anything for sure though."

Tidus didn't know much about the Farplane, but he had a feeling that Lulu was right, and that Wakka's hopes were just that. He also didn't know much about Chappu, except that they looked alike and that he and Lulu had been involved.

He had a weird feeling whenever he remembered this fact, that he resembled Lulu's late lover. It was almost a sort of pride that he felt ashamed of without knowing why. And as if that weren't strange enough, he also questioned his feelings towards Yuna, who undoubtedly felt a particular closeness with Tidus. He couldn't say for sure that it was reciprocated, at least not romantically. He imagined that he possessed the same sort of love for Yuna that Wakka and Lulu did. And at the same time he wondered if that was not what he also felt for Lulu, mistaken for something less innocent.

An icy drop of water on his scalp freed him from his thoughts. He took shelter with his comrades beneath the treated fabric that Kimahri had draped among the tree branches, focusing on the rain to keep his mind from wandering. This pilgrimage so far had been filled with unimaginable complications, ranging from the state of his father to his own fate.

Tidus roused while it was still night. The rain had stopped and the ground was soft, the forest floor glittering with rain in the moon and starlight. The fire was only a glowing bed of dying embers. All his comrades slept back-to-back or slumbered on raised spots of ground beneath the shelter. He noticed the absence of one, and raised himself up, glancing around for her. When he realized that she had gone, he got to his feet and searched along the path, knowing deep down that he hoped to run into her alone but not quite understanding why.

The still-glittering pyreflies guided him between the dark tree trunks and into a small clearing that was occupied only by Lulu, who stood with her back to Tidus. Here the moonlight fell in bars separated by the tree branches, lightly illuminating the pale skin of her neck and shoulders. Feeling drawn in as if by sinking sand, he wandered forward, unintentionally snapping a twig and causing the mage to whirl her head around in surprise. The beads in her hair clicked together as her braids were thrown over her left shoulder. The blue light of the moon accentuated the softness of her face, the deep violet of her lips, and the perfectly placed darkness of her beauty mark. Her narrowed eyes were subdued by the cool hues, and her furrowed brow made her look especially elegant in her almost celestial paleness. Tidus thought to himself how ironic it was that a black mage could glow so purely.

Her milky white breast fell as she exhaled her relief. "I thought you were a fiend," she sighed. "And here I am all alone."

"Just me," whispered Tidus, almost breathless from the sight before him. He felt as if he had intruded on a very pensive moment of Lulu's, but at the same time he was determined not to leave, having no idea if the two of them would ever get to be alone like this again. She studied him briefly, looking up at him through her lowered lashes, and turned the other way once again. Tidus felt his heart pound with a longing he didn't understand. Feeling almost dejected by her inattentiveness, he seated himself on a tree stump a few feet away and waited for her to realize that he was still there. She turned to look at him sideways, and for a split second her eyes widened in surprise when she caught him staring at her dark figure against the moonlight. She looked away again.

"I... couldn't sleep," she said quietly, followed by a lengthy silence. "Sometimes it's difficult, being reminded of Chappu. And sometimes, when I think of him, I feel like I have to stay awake... so he won't disappear from my memories." Lulu seemed abashed at telling him this and lowered her head, allowing her raven-colored fringe to hide her face. Tidus, however, felt elated to be clued in on the workings of the usually enigmatic mind of Lulu. He rose and cautiously began to step towards her.

"Lulu, what I said to you in Guadosalam," he began, quite afraid to continue, "was true. I wouldn't kid with you." Her laugh then was low and devilish. It stopped Tidus in his tracks.

"I'm 'more your type,' right? So you'd choose a black mage over a white mage." Her face was still concealed by her fringe, so he could not tell what she was thinking, but his own mind was reeling. Just then he realized how true his words had been, that they had not been just a blithe joke but a confession of innermost feelings that had suddenly risen to the surface.

Right then he had an insuppressible urge to grasp her waist, feeling her slightness with his ungloved hands, and place a tender kiss at the nape of her ivory neck, and he decided at that moment to indulge it. Taking just a few more steps forward, he now stood close enough to Lulu's back to breathe down the collar of her dress, close enough to see the goose bumps form on her slender neck and the fine hairs rise with building inner tension. He rested one hand just below her ribcage, squeezing very gently, and then the other, so that he grasped her firmly on either side. His pulse was extremely rapid and his entire body felt flushed with heat. But just as he lowered his lips toward her supple skin, she grabbed his left hand very roughly and spun out of his grip, coming to face him. Her gaze could kill. Tidus felt his heart sink, both with disappointment and fear of what was coming next.

"Just because you look like Chappu doesn't mean you could ever be Chappu." And with that she drifted away from the clearing and back to the campsite, wearing a hardened look of contempt and violation.

Tidus sank to the ground and sat, placing his face in his hands and shaking his head at his own impudence and foolishness. Not wanting to face Lulu again for the rest of the night, he decided to rest where he sat and figure out how to apologize in the morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

Tidus held Lulu as she lay draped across his lap, her white breasts straining against her dress as she breathed in deeply, her red eyes glowing with lust. Feeling extremely impious himself, he lowered his mouth to her pale throat, sucking and nibbling gently at her delicious porcelain skin. She wrapped her arms behind his head and constricted them, pulling him in closer, willing him to kiss her harder. His gloveless hands brushed against her breasts as he caressed her consenting body, and his mouth found hers. Clamping his lips over Lulu's, he felt her cool tongue pass over his teeth and the inside of his cheek. Completely overcome by desire, he pushed her firmly to the ground, pressing himself on top of her and lacing his fingers with hers as he held both her arms above her head. He felt his member awaken while he covered her collarbone with hard kisses.

He sat up on her hips and unfastened her dress. She looked at him lovingly and pleadingly, her mouth slightly open, wanting him to find what he wanted, to look inside her for whatever he most desired. When he pulled the fur collar of her dress down past her shoulders and down to her elbows, the only thing between him and her substantial breasts that swelled with her heavy breathing was a scant piece of black lingerie.

"Tear it off," she said, the corners of her mouth curling in a wicked smile that made his breath catch in his chest.

Tidus awoke with a start. He was extremely ashamed to find that he had finished in his sleep. Wandering over to a stream, he washed the mess off his clothes, allowing his mind to wander to his steamy dream but knowing that his wishes would never be granted so easily. Even so, he felt that apologizing to Lulu and trying to push these thoughts to the back of his mind should be his first priority.

As soon as he redressed and turned to go back to the campsite, he spotted Wakka strolling towards him and remained where he was, wondering if Lulu had told him what he had tried to do the night before. Tidus was relieved to see that he was smiling very jovially as usual.

"Hey, man!" he called, picking up his pace. "So this is where you wandered off to." Tidus returned his grin and tried to look innocent. Wakka stooped down by the stream and cupped a handful of water. Just as he was beginning to bring it to his mouth, Tidus said nervously, "I wouldn't drink that if I were you." Seeming to think he meant it was contaminated or poisonous, Wakka let the water run through his fingers and wiped his hand on his pants.

"Too bad. I was thirsty." He stretched out his legs as he rose, and then raised his arms up over his head in a gargantuan yawn. "Anyway, we should head back. Auron is doing better, or at least he says he is, and we're heading off for Macalania Temple."

While they walked side-by-side back to the campsite, Tidus wondered how Wakka would feel if he knew that he had made advances towards Lulu. He knew that he and Lulu were close, perhaps very close, and wondered if indeed they became lovers after the death of Chappu. If that was the case, Lulu's reaction to Tidus touching her made even more sense than it had at the time. Tidus desperately hoped that he hadn't betrayed his best friend by attempting to kiss the woman Wakka loved. He couldn't bear the guilt anymore. He had to know the truth.

"Hey Wakka, are you and Lulu... you know... together?" The last syllable seemed to ring in the lengthy silence that came afterwards. Then it was broken as Wakka began to laugh wholeheartedly, bent double and slapping his knees.

"Me and Lu?" he exclaimed. "You should know that she scares me to much! And her, well, she can hardly put up with me. Says I'm too insensitive. And tactless. And hard-headed. And a whole bunch of other things." Tidus felt somewhat relieved, but there was still one more question to be asked.

"Do you love her, though?" For the first time in his life, he prayed inwardly, hoping with all his heart and mind that the answer would be no.

"Well, yeah, but it's never gonna happen, so I gave up a long time ago." Wakka sighed, crossing his arms and reclining his head to look up into the treetops. "She's too guarded. Still in love with Chappu. And I could never take his place, not in a million years. I don't think anybody could. Not even you." At these last words, Tidus gaped at him in surprise. "Once I asked her if she wouldn't like to get to know you better, and you know what she said to me?" He looked Tidus in the eyes now. Tidus tried to regain his composure. "She said, 'So what if he looks like Chappu? There's so much Chappu had that that kid will never have.' To be honest, I was really let down. I just want Lu to be happy for once, even if it isn't with me. And too bad for you, too. She's a real looker." Tidus now wondered if this was true, or if it was simply a ploy to make him give up his affections. He shook himself mentally, realizing that he was being paranoid. Wakka would never be dishonest with him over a woman. The man laughed, clapping him on the shoulder. "Can't be with Yuna. Can't be with Lulu. You're probably wondering what's in it for you at this point." Then in an undertone he said, "But I guess there's always Rikku," and winked.

Tidus laughed with him, but inside he wondered how much Wakka had guessed about his feelings. When he was perfectly honest with himself, he decided that Wakka couldn't have known unless Lulu had told him about the events of the previous night, and he sincerely doubted that she was the kind of woman to not kiss and tell. Had Wakka then really encouraged Lulu to be with him? It almost seemed too good to be true, that his friend would be on his side in spite of his feelings. He doubted that he had the same decency in his own heart, and wondered if Wakka was not truly the right one for Lulu. But regardless of what a good sport Wakka was, Lulu didn't love him. Lulu had eyes for no one but Chappu. He realized then that it would be more difficult to compete with a dead lover than a living one, the dead not only being immortalized, but idolized, in the minds of those who loved them.

"Before we went to the Farplane, Rikku said something to me when I asked her why she wasn't going with us," he told Wakka, who was now looking at the ground thoughtfully. "She said that 'memories are just memories.' Maybe... maybe Lulu should have heard those words." Wakka said nothing in reply, but merely nodded. The two looked up at each other, and wordlessly decided that it was time to move on.

Tromell was waiting for them when they reached the frozen lake of Macalania. "It is good to see you, Summoner Yuna. Lord Seymour apologizes for his sudden absence from Guadosalam, and wishes for me to bring you to him." Yuna nodded, and caught the eye of each of her comrades, silently telling them that she would be alright, and that her mind was made up to marry Seymour. Tidus felt worry deep in the pit of his stomach. He had never liked Seymour, and cringed at the thought of Yuna marrying him for purposes other than love. He knew now that she was like a dear sister to him, and that he would protect her no matter what, not only physically, as was the duty of a guardian, but emotionally.

"I'll see all of you at the temple," she said breathlessly, bowing slightly, and allowed Tromell to lead her down the path to the frozen lake. Tidus bounded after her and shouted, "Yuna! Don't forget to whistle if you need us!" She smiled shyly and waved from afar. Her guardians watched her leave as an air of regret and suspicion settled over them.

"Kimahri no like leaving Yuna alone," said the Ronso, watching her small figure disappear from the horizon, his arms crossed and his golden eyes narrowed. "Kimahri will follow close behind, make sure Yuna reaches temple safely." It seemed that all of them had the same idea as they moved as one down the path. But before they had even taken a few steps, they witnessed Yuna and Tromell being encircled by snowmobiles on the frozen lake.

"It's the Al Bhed!" roared Wakka, sprinting off the path and stumbling quickly down the icy slope. The rest of them followed. Rikku and Tidus stayed behind for only a moment. Rikku flashed him a look of apprehension, and then followed the rest down the path with Tidus behind her.

The six of them quickly defeated the Al Bhed on snowmobiles, but they knew that the ordeal had not yet passed. On a distant hill, a blond man covered in tattoos appeared, and he called out to Rikku, who answered in Al Bhed. Wakka looked back and forth between them, dumbstruck. Rikku looked extremely uneasy. "What did he say?" asked Tidus, readying his sword for a fight.

"Just brace yourselves, and don't bother using magic!" she cried, taking a grenade in each hand.

Following the fight with an enormous machina, the six of them were thanked by Tromell, who then continued to lead Yuna to the temple. Left behind were the snowmobiles ridden by the Al Bhed, which Rikku began to prepare for riding. Wakka was stony-faced, eyeing Rikku with a combination of shock and mistrust. Tidus imagined that he felt very much betrayed to discover that Rikku belonged to a race of people that he hated, and tried to comfort Rikku while she kneeled bent over a snowmobile, stifling tears.

When the vehicles were ready, the party members climbed onto each of them, Wakka only very reluctantly mounting his. Tidus sat on the one nearest, and noticed that only Lulu was left without a mode of transportation. Noticing that Tidus was looking at her, she sighed. "I think I'll walk," she murmured sardonically.

"Don't be ridiculous," said Wakka harshly. He was still angry. "Just ride with Tidus. Let's hurry up and get to the temple so I can pray for forgiveness for using these damn forbidden machina." Lulu shook her head, and mounted sideways behind Tidus, careful not to touch him. "Grab onto something or you'll fall off!" Wakka shouted. Lulu, realizing that there was nothing to grab onto, finally placed her hands on Tidus with a scowl.

They rode for some time in silence. Tidus was reveling in her touching him at last, but felt hollow when he recalled how reluctant she had been to do so. He stole a glance at her face, which was downcast. In that moment he looked away from the path, he nearly lost control of the snowmobile and hit a large bump. Lulu was almost tossed back and clung tightly to Tidus. His heart leaped when he felt her soft breasts pressed firmly against his back and her arms clutched around his ribs.

"Watch where you're going!" she exclaimed, quickly retracting from him.

"Sorry," he replied, not feeling at all sorry for what had happened. He contemplated hitting yet another bump, but thought better of it when he realized that Lulu might really fall off next time. At least the silence had been broken. He thought that this was a perfect opportunity to apologize. "Lulu, about last night..."

"I don't want to talk about-"

"I'm really sorry." She froze, eyeing the back of his head suspiciously. "We're ahead of everyone. Let's stop for just a minute. We'll catch up later." She neither agreed nor disagreed, so he took her silence for consent, pulling over to the side of the path and slowing to a stop. The others soon caught up with him, and stopped also.

"Are you guys okay?" asked Rikku, removing her goggles and letting them hang around her neck.

"We're fine," Tidus replied. "I think the snowmobile is starting to overheat, so you guys go on ahead. We'll be there in a little bit, after we let it sit." Rikku nodded and replaced her goggles over her eyes. Auron signaled to everyone to continue on their way. Tidus and Lulu watched them shrink into the distance. Tidus stepped off of the vehicle, but Lulu remained seated. "Like I said, I'm sorry. I never meant to offend you. I completely misread you." She looked at his feet, refusing to meet his gaze.

"No, I've been foolish," she almost whispered, shaking her head. "It is I who have misread you. All along I thought you loved Yuna. So naturally I was surprised when you..." She placed a hand on her chest, smiling feebly at the icy ground. "I was so mad. But at the same time, I wondered if I shouldn't be flattered. If I shouldn't have just let you continue." When she looked up, she was stunned to see Tidus bearing down on her, pinning her wrists against the cliff face that had pulled next to and pressing his warm lips to hers. She let him have her, for now. For a fleeting moment she wanted to be kissed, to be touched. During that moment, she didn't miss Chappu.


	3. Chapter 3

**Warning: **Strong sexual content.

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Chapter Three

Tidus now had Lulu's entire body pinned against the cliff face. Her heavy breath was a visible cloud in the frigid air. Her arms were wrapped around his shoulders. She could not completely encompass the mass of his muscles. He held her hips, pressing himself firmly against them while he kissed the side of her neck just below her jaw, shooting shivers of pleasure down her spine. She felt herself become very moist as his fingers traveled to her rear and began to knead it. His lips wandered down to her cleavage. "Tidus," she whispered as he squeezed both her breasts and then peeled the collar of her dress down to expose them. He yanked down her lacy strapless bra, allowing her ample chest to sway. Her dark pink nipples, exposed to the cold, became erect. Lulu almost hyperventilated as he took a breast in his mouth, sucking and nibbling on her firm tips. "What if they come back?" He wasn't listening. She could tell that he was completely possessed by desire as he ground his erection between her supple legs.

His dreams were coming true. And better yet, he wasn't going to wake up this time. Grabbing her rear, he lifted her up, letting her feet dangle off the icy ground, and kissed her passionately. She grasped both sides of his face, pulling him as close as their bodies allowed. Her soft breasts enveloped his chin in warmth. "I want to make love to you, Lulu," he gasped, breaking free from their locked lips.

"I can see that," she replied cynically, eyeing the pitched tent in his pants. He laughed, loving everything about her. Before she could say anything further, he laid her on the snowmobile, letting her grip the handle bars behind her, and began to raise her dress up over her hips. She kept her white, smooth legs together shyly, but he pried them apart, plunging his face between her slim, milky thighs, the skin against his face as smooth as silk. She let her head fall back and moaned as he pressed his mouth against her soaking wet panties. He caressed her entrance with his eager lips. Unable to hold back any longer, he slid her lacy underwear over her hips, all the way past her knees until they were dangling, feeble and wet, off one ankle. Undoing his pants, he mounted Lulu and guided his erection, slowly parting her labia, gazing at her hungrily. "Tidus, we shouldn't..."

"Please," he begged, not wanting her desire to disappear and be replaced by thoughts of Chappu. She willed herself to continue, but was still fearful of what she was getting herself into. Her head fell back as she looked up at the sky, her eyes closed, readying herself to be penetrated for the first time since she was by the man she desperately loved. She felt like a traitor, like less of a woman, for ever allowing this to happen. Taking her wordlessness for consent, Tidus eased into her until he was completely enveloped. He was disappointed to discover that she was not a virgin, but what should he expect from a woman so enticing and beautiful who had almost been married? Instead of brooding on it, he savored the feeling of her embrace, wrapping his arms around her slender waist and resting his head between her rotund breasts. She placed a hand on the back of his neck, and lightly dug her violet nails into his tanned skin. She wouldn't go through with offering herself to another man.

"I can't, Tidus," she breathed. He didn't raise his head from between her breasts.

"I want you, Lulu," he murmured, his speech somewhat muffled. "I know I'm being selfish, but I want you more than anything. More than returning to Zanarkand. More than defeating Sin. More even than protecting Yuna."

"I'm cold," she stated softly. And Tidus took it to mean more than that she wanted her clothes back on. She became frigid on the inside, for betraying Chappu, for giving herself away so easily. There was nothing left to do but seal herself away again, protected by a diamond-hard sheet of ice that no one would ever be able to pierce again.

"Please, just another second longer," he moaned, rising up and meeting her cheek with his lips, kissing her softly and savoring the moment that they had together before she became barred off to him completely. "I can warm you again." She closed her eyes and let him take his time, no longer enjoying herself but not wanting to be too selfish. After all, she had allowed him to get this far.

It's not his fault, she thought. It's not his fault that I'm so cold. But she laughed inwardly, reminding herself that it had been he who had stripped off her clothes.

"I adore you, Lulu," he gasped, pressing his cheek to hers, desperately clinging to her. "Please don't leave me alone out here. Please say that you love me too." But before she could say another word, she heard the sound of footsteps and spun around to see Wakka standing a few yards away. She hadn't even heard him approach on his snowmobile because they had been so consumed by lust. He looked away quickly and in the opposite direction, leaving his vehicle behind in his hurry to leave the scene.

Tidus climbed off of Lulu, doing up his pants, and retrieved her bra from where it had fallen. Lulu pulled her underwear back up her legs and lowered her dress. They straightened themselves out silently, until it was as if nothing had ever happened, and boarded the separate vehicles without looking at each other, both feeling thoroughly miserable and humiliated. The dream was over, and this time the mess it had caused wasn't so simple to clean up.

"There you are!" shouted Rikku as they came into sight. She bounded down the steps of the Macalania temple after them. "We thought you two had been attacked by fiends, so Wakka went back to check, then he said he left his snowmobile because it broke down. I guess it was alright after all." She looked at Tidus, who was unusually quiet and very solemn-looking. "Did something happen?" She then glanced at Lulu quizzically, but she had her back to her and was already heading inside the temple. "Come on, guys!"

"We had an argument," muttered Tidus, who had his eyes fixed directly in front of him and both his fists clenched.

"Oh... So that's why you came in separately." Rikku looked at him consolingly. "Don't let Lulu get you down. I don't think she wants to be mean."

"No... It's not her fault." Tidus feigned a smile, looking Rikku in the eyes for the first time. She returned the gesture and hopped back up the temple stairs, beckoning him to follow her.

Truth be told, Tidus felt more guilty than he did disappointed, both for not listening to Lulu's pleas and allowing them to be discovered by Wakka, and for ever having feelings for her in the first place. He had treaded on dangerous ground and had been burned severely for it. Burned by those ruby eyes that he loved so dearly. He thought of the things he had said when they almost made love, and realized how utterly selfish he had been to tell her how he felt, and to try to claim something that wasn't his. Even so, he thought that Lulu had been selfish too, to give him so much of her without allowing him to have the rest, saving that one most special piece for someone who had already died. He felt tears rolling down his cheeks. His dad had told him that only children cried, but for the first time in his life he felt like a real man, mourning the lost of his first real love, not just a spoiled kid who had been disappointed by another one of life's pitfalls.

Entering the temple, he saw Wakka standing before him with his arms crossed and a look of quiet determination on his face. Everyone else was on the other side of the temple, watching Yuna enter one of the rooms next to the door to the Chamber of the Fayth. Tidus approached him hesitantly, wondering if he would strike him.

"You didn't hurt her, did you?" he inquired firmly. Tidus shook his head, and Wakka's expression softened. "She hurt you... didn't she?" Tidus gave him a rueful smile.

"More than I've ever been hurt in my life."


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you** to my reviewers for their encouragement.

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Chapter Four

Tidus felt foolish for ever entangling himself in Lulu's life. He thought that the painful aftermath of their near-union was enough to ward him off from ever again allowing such a mishap, but he still wondered if he could even muster the self-control to abstain from sex if Lulu dropped her defenses again. Probably not, he thought, laughing morosely to himself. As angry and as disappointed as he was from being jilted, he could not let go of his eagerness to make another attempt at an intimate relationship. However, in the back of his mind was a sense of knowing, a certainty that such an opportunity would never present itself. He also regretted injuring Wakka. Even though he appeared to be a great sport, Tidus knew that his ego was severely damaged by witnessing the two of them together. He imagined what it would be like to be in love with the same woman for years, always being rejected, only to find her half naked with another man. It made him shudder with self-hatred just to think about it. How would he ever find the right words to say "sorry"? For the first time he realized the difficulty of encountering a situation where apologizing seemed impossible because he feared that it wasn't enough to make up for his recklessness. "Sorry" had always sufficed when he bumped into someone, or when he inadvertently said something insensitive, but what about breaking someone's heart?

He pressed his fingers into his closed eyelids, trying to physically press his unease into the back of his mind. He had a job to do as a guardian. For now he would focus on his duty, on what was right in front of him, and figure out what to do about his damaged friendship when the right time came. As for Lulu... It was just a matter of letting things work out for themselves, rather than trying to force her any which way.

"Hey man, are you coming?" called Wakka from the foot of the stairs that led to the Chamber of the Fayth. Just as Tidus was about to answer and stride forward, he heard an ear-splitting scream while his foot was lifted just inches off the ground. He immediately started forward to see what the source of the commotion was.

A nun of Yevon had stumbled onto all fours outside the room where Yuna had been just a moment ago, repeatedly shouting "Lord Jyscal!" at the top of her voice. After exchanging a meaningful look with Auron, Tidus circumvented the nun and entered the room at top speed.

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"Lady Yuna, you seem very tense," Seymour drawled in his usual honey-sweet voice. "Is it possible that you have bad news for me in regards to my marriage proposal?" The Guado's sea-deep blue eyes, framed by thick black lashes that were likely passed down to him from his human mother, swept over Yuna with a kind of delicacy that was almost sultry and feminine. The summoner audibly gulped, breaking eye contact and looking within herself for enough strength to withstand the maester's natural charm.

"No, it's not that..." she maintained, gazing around for something to focus on instead of those haunting blue eyes. "In fact, I... I came here to say..."

"Please, before you answer," he sweetly interjected, sweeping towards her with an inhuman grace, "allow me to escort you into the Fayth. Your pilgrimage is without a doubt your top priority at this point."

"Th... thank you," she stammered, covering her mouth with her fingertips, at a complete loss as to what she should say once she emerged from the Fayth, but still grateful for the momentary diversion from her confrontation of the maester.

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"Seymour!" Tidus shouted, bursting through the door to the Chamber with the rest of the party in tow. Seymour looked up casually, but his expression was dangerous.

"Lady Yuna prays," he stated calmly, while his face expressed malicious loathing. "Do not disturb her."

"I'll disturb whoever I want!" Tidus countered, gesticulating aggressively.

"We saw the sphere Jyscal left in Yuna's belongings," Auron growled, narrowing his eyes behind his sunglasses. "You killed him. And you're not yet tired of killing."

"Indeed. I killed my father." The corners of Seymour's lips curled into a malevolent smile that sent chills even down the stoic Auron's spine. "And what are you going to do about it? Are you here to punish me?"

The door to the Fayth rumbled. Yuna's black boots and the hem of her skirt appeared as it drew upward, and then she stumbled out of the entrance, sapped of strength. Seymour caught her by the elbow and held her steady.

"Get away from him, Yunie!" cried Rikku, stepping towards them. "He killed Jyscal!"

"I know," Yuna replied, recoiling from the maester's touch and readying her summoner's staff in defense. "Maester Seymour, I have come to avenge Lord Jyscal, and to stop you from manipulating or killing anyone else!"

* * * * * * * * *

The fight against Seymour and his aeon, Anima, and the escape from the Macalania Temple, had taken quite a bit out of everyone, but no one as much as Yuna, who lay unconscious beneath the ice of the frozen lake, watched over by her comrades, who knew not what to do to justify having killed Seymour without Jyscal's sphere as evidence.

Tidus sat by Yuna's side, waiting for the slightest indication of consciousness so that he could be relieved of his guilt for not keeping a closer eye on her. While he waited he reclined his head to examine the foggy sheet of ice overhead, which he imagined was several meters thick. A huge chasm ran across it where they had fallen in, surrounded by miniscule cracks that looked like glittering, dew-dropped spider webs. The sunlight filtering through the ice was faint and cast a haunting blue light on everything it touched, including the hands that Tidus held out before him, which made him look as if he had frozen solid himself, as if he were just another aspect of the frozen lake that had been there for all time.

He felt like a fool for being so engrossed in thoughts of Lulu, who now sat several yards away, disallowing herself to look in his direction, looking herself like a frozen statue. Yuna had never lost her faith in him, regardless of how distracted he became from her plight and her safety. He beat himself up relentlessly for betraying both her trust and her feelings for him. He noticed how her face appeared to be the only part of his surroundings that glowed with life, and he realized that it was because a ray of orange sunlight shone through a crack in the ice just above her. Her hair shined in the warm light, burnt brown and probably sweet smelling. He imagined that, if her eyes had been open, the stunning green and blue would have mingled with the fiery light above and created a beautiful display of color that would have been welcome in this cold, stark place. Just then Tidus knew how badly he wanted Yuna to open her eyes and look at him, how desperately he needed to feel the fire on his skin again. He brushed a few strands of her ash brown hair from her face. Feeling eyes on the back of his head, he turned just in time to see Lulu sharply turning her head in the other direction. Tidus stood up and started in her direction, feeling reckless in his grief.

She sat facing away from him, staring off into the distance as if she were thinking about what to do next like everyone else. He studied her back, and her shining black braids, which quivered ever-so-slightly as if they were alerting her of his presence behind her.

"Yuna is still unconscious," he reported, standing stock-still, waiting for her to make the first move. She gazed lazily over her shoulder so that he saw her lovely beauty-marked face in profile, her glimmering eyes never reaching above ground level. Her white skin fit into its icy surroundings well.

"She must rest," Lulu responded, expressionless and unreadable. "She has had a long journey, and a difficult fight. I wouldn't worry about her too much. She is very strong."

"Lulu." Tidus needed no other words. His tone carried whatever meaning he hoped to convey to the mage, who continued to stare into the space just over her shoulder, apparently unmoved by the love, desperation, and need in his voice. If her eyes would simply flick over to his face, not lingering for more than a fraction of a second, like a flash of fiery lightning, penetrating his skin, all the way to his core, he would feel his passion restored and his pain healed. But she did not move.


End file.
